I hope I would have had a knowledge of the signals of possible Redflags some women can have when I met my first Girlfriend. That knowledge would have saved me a lot from emotional and mental pain.
Besides all the mental torture I went through after honey moon period, in the end I got cheated on. It took a long time to get over it and heal the scars I got left.
If I only would have known those negative signals to avoid for before building stronger feelings…
I don’t want that you get in the same position. I want to help you to recognize those Redflags before you get possible burned.
So if you have just met an interesting woman you would like to date, or you are going to meet one in the future, here’s a list of things you should be concerned about before jumping in the serious relationship.
If many of the traits in the list clicks with the women, you should be cautious.
Also, honey moon period is lovely time. You barely see any negative things about her.
But after honey moon wears off, you will see the real person she is. And if you had realized some of these Redflags on that period, things can get really bad in the future.
You don’t want to get in abusive relationship and lose your mental health in the end, when she have took your self esteem and cheated on you.
Here’s the list:
She don’t have any female friends
This is a huge warning. She may tell you “I get along much better with guys than girls”. There can be various reasons why she don’t get along with other girls, and usually they are bad.
The true, loyal friends are your the same gender as you. If a woman and the man are friends, there is always possibility of sexual attraction.
She might have not been loyal friend to her female friends. Example she may have been left out of the social circle of girls because she have had possible flirted with some of them boyfriends or even have him cheated with her friend.
Or she don’t respect other girls and want all the attention from men to herself.
Or she lies straight on your face and don’t even want female friends, because she can see them as competitor on the dating market. She don’t want more friends more beautiful than her, because they get more attention from men.
Or she just can’t keep long term friends.
And if she can’t keep long term friends, how could she keep long term relationships?
She has many guy friends or she’s making new ones
Another big Redflag.
In the first you probably don’t want show you are feeling jealous about her having guy friends, but inside you feel very bad about it.
And it’s not wrong to feel that way.
If she has many guy friends, there is a big possibility some of them have fucked her. Or even worse, some are her ex’s.
Also, if she making new guy friends in suspicious places, like she say she met him at the party, it’s big no no.
If you would meet a nice girl at party or at bar, would you like have her only as a friend? Probably not. You would feel attraction toward her and last thing you want is to get Friendzoned.
Only guy friends that you should not be concerned about:
- Long term friends, like friends she have met in the childhood or known many, many years. Also no sexual history, but if they have known each other for 15 years and have had sex once on drunk at that time, it can be probably okay. But more sex than once, no.
- She can make new guy friends at school or at work. I do that too, I had made friends with girls I have studied with or worked at the same place without any backup idea of seducing them. But I would never go to bar to look for new female friends.
She is very active on Social Media and on her phone all the time
If she isn’t building her career on Social Media, there is no reason for her to spend lot of time at Instagram.
Most likely this is a sign of her having addiction for getting attention. And most likely from men.
If she is posting pictures of her wearing bikinis or pictures of her ass, it’s double warning.
In the long term, even if she’s hot, can you handle that attention seeking behavior and all the compliments from thirsty men she’s getting? You are not jealous if you don’t like that, it’s very healthy to not want your loved one and long term partner being thirsty of attention of other men.
If she says you are jealous, don’t take that bullshit. Say that you want a woman who respects traditional family values and don’t require seeking attention from other men.
If she can’t respect your will, dump her. She’s not worth of your time.
You want a women you can love and trust, a women you can build family with. Woman who respects you.
She talks about her Ex Boyfriend(‘s) all the time
At some point in the relationships there will always be a moment of talking about exes. It’s normal.
But if she talks about her ex boyfriend all the time, or even worse, compares you to him, there are bad news:
She haven’t gotten completely over of her ex. And she can just use you to get over her ex.
At the end you get dumped, or in the worst scenario you build feelings on her and she cheats you with her Ex boyfriend.
Also it’s very disrespectful to compare you to her ex.
She have cheated before
Really huge Redflag.
The quote: “Once cheater, always cheater” applies almost every time.
You don’t want to date cheater. If she have cheated before, there is a big chance she can cheat you when you have a huge fight example.
I would personally never cheat any women I have relationship, even if it would be really bad. By having a balls to break up without cheating first, is a trait I respect a lot in people. It’s a trait of Real Man. Being loyal to your partner till end and having sex with new woman only after break up.
There are women who think like this too. If you meet one, invest a lot in her. This is very valuable trait in human.
She cheated her boyfriend with you before you started dating
More worse than above one.
I haven’t had never sex with a woman who are in relationship, or if I have, I don’t know about it because they haven’t tell me about it.
If woman who have boyfriend would propose sex with me, I would reject her. I have the moral code of not fucking taken woman. Hopefully you have too.
Anyway, either you knew when you fucked her first time that she had a boyfriend, don’t even consider about dating her. If she cheated him, there is no reason why she wouldn’t do that to you in future.
Also if you didn’t know, but you’ll find out this later, same thing as above. Don’t consider anything serious.
She want’s you to buy her lot of stuff and spend lot of money on her
Possible warning of her being a gold digger.
You don’t want gold digger who loves your money, you want a woman who loves YOU.
If she really was interested in you, she wouldn’t consider about your money.
My tip is, if you are looking for relationship and you have a lot of money, don’t reveal your rich lifestyle only after you have dated at least 6 months.
This way you can find out that she interested you as a person.
After you reveal your savings, then you can have a wonderful time with her, take her to restaurants and travel with. (I personally haven’t experienced never that, I’m mostly poor as fuck)
She goes out a lot and don’t take you with her
If she goes to drink at bar every weekend on Friday and Saturday and never ask you to come with her, it’s not only very disrespectful towards you but also very suspicious.
Do she have substance abuse problems or is she dating multiple guys at the same time?
The first one can be acceptable, but dating multiple guys besides you?
Could you ever take her serious after that? Meaning you build long term relationship and years later you think back how she was fucking multiple guys at the same time when she was dating you. Could you get over that?
If she goes out a lot and don’t take you with her, there is a high chance she’s hiding something you don’t want to see. And dating other guys can be one of them.
She blames you being Jealous
As I wrote earlier, if she says you are jealous because you don’t let her flirt with other guys or post half naked pictures on Instagram, don’t take that bullshit.
Have some backbone and say straight to her that it’s not jealousy, it’s you wanting to have a healthy relationship where both of you can trust each other and you can build family in future. You want to be the only one who she’s lusting after you and only one she’s sending nudes. You want a relationship where both of you can feel loved without third party guys.
You don’t want relationship where you need to always be aware if she’s cheating.
Also many times when she blames you being jealous, she’s hiding something.
It can be that she’s flirting with other guys and starts blaming you so she don’t need to be the bad one.
And if you let her doing this, there is a big chance she continues doing it and things escalate worse in future.
Complimenting other guys and comparing to you
Not only this is very disrespectful towards you but it can also be sign of her becoming mentally abusing in the long run.
Things can just get worse from here, if she’s comparing you to other’s in the first months of dating.
Think about what it can be after few years?
You don’t want to get in the trap and become victim of mental abusive relationship.
Not letting you see her phone
Needless to say that she’s hiding something.
And if she’s hiding something, there will be no trust.
Without trust there isn’t healthy relationship.
And you want healthy relationship, not unhealthy.
Ask her if you check her phone, and if she rejects, no need to continue dating.
Lying always bad.
But if it’s constant lying, even on little things like she says she ate something she really didn’t.
Constant lying can reflect even deeper personal problems she can have, and it can be a sign of borderline disorder. Meaning you don’t want to end up relationship with person like that, there are countless of horror stories with there kind of relationships.
There are even cases where woman lied her name, her parent’s names, even her dog’s name.
Constant Lying = Big Redflag
She falls love immediately and wants to take thing further too fast
This can example mean things like:
- She’s Borderline
- She want’s to trap you by having a baby with you
In normal healthy relationships there is no need to hurry to get married and have children.
If the woman you are dating want’s to move next level too quickly in the relationship, like she wants to move together in the same apartment after dating few weeks, be really aware.
If she falls love with you really fast and make you feel like a king in the first, this can be possible sign of Borderline. I’ve dated a woman like that, and fortunately I realized to run out. I can’t say it didn’t feel amazing when she did worship me and the sex was amazing, but I realized this isn’t normal.
I know a scenario like this were guy got totally fucked up. The woman had many qualities mentioned on this list, and she also wanted to take things further in the relationship very fast. Not long when they got a baby and then this poor guy was trapped. The woman started manipulation and cheated on him multiple times, but the guy couldn’t get out because of the baby. He was really ruined. I don’t know how he’s nowadays, hopefully better.
Unprotected Sex Too Fast
If she is willing to have unprotected sex with you after knowing you a short time, not only it can be physically dangerous but also Redflag.
Even worse if she let you fuck her raw first time you meet her.
This indicates she don’t value her health. You want a partner who appreciate her health in the long run.
If she is ready to have unprotected sex with you on first date, she’s for sure had unprotected sex with other guys too.
Having unprotected sex with random people is one of the most stupid thing one can do.
It can lead to unwanted pregnancy or spreading STD’s. In really bad situation you can get STD that can’t be cured and you carry them the rest of your life, like HIV or Herpes.
I’ve rejected women who were willing to have unprotected sex on one night stand.
You should too. Appreciate your health and yourself, even the woman would be 10/10 hot.
20 minutes of pleasure VS disease for the rest of your life or unwanted child, which is more important?
If you notice many of these Redflags on the woman you are dating, you should think about twice if you see a future with two of you.
After the honey moon period wears off and you have already build strong feelings to woman who really isn’t capable for long term relationship and building family with, the situation is really bad.
It always hurts a lot of breaking up, but prolonging unhealthy relationship just makes it harder and more painful to quit.
Don’t follow my mistakes and choose a partner you see as a potential Wife and mother of your children.
There are many great women with morals out there.
There are also these kinds of women who cheat and aren’t capable on long term relationship.
Be aware of these kinds, this list gives you a signs and look for women you both have a happy relationship and life together.