It’s a long time since I last time wrote a blog post, sorry for that. I’ve been so busy with all kinds of stuff, but now I finally got some free time and I would like to get back to help you guys with dating stuff.
This time I would like to share a little different guide than I usually would. Normally I’m against a pickup-lines and such a techniques, and I’ve wrote in past the formulas from approach to sex just by being yourself. These guide’s may not cover a lot what you should say, how you would charm her. If you are still struggling on that, hopefully this post will click to you how you’ll become more charming person who attract women.
The Player Mindset you should have
When I wasn’t good with girls and was just starting to learn how to pickup women, I had a very different mindset back then when it came to attraction.
Firstly, I though the same pickup techniques would work on every women. Wrong.
Secondly, I though the pickup lines matters. Wrong. (Unless they are too insane like I’m telling later in this post).
Thirdly. I though I should indicate I’m interested on her. Wrong.
#4 I though I should not ask straight for sex. Wrong.
#5. I had a mindset the women don’t want just random sex but a boyfriend. Wrong.
The latest was the game changer. When I realized I don’t need to go for multiple dates, get phone numbers and play it cautiously, I started to get success.
At the time I had already improved my social skills, playfulness and built courage to approach women at anytime, anywhere. I was still struggling to get laid.
I got dates and phone numbers, none of them leading to my bed.
My mindset was the classic nice guy attitude, I should take her to multiple dates and get to known her better until she is comfortable enough to have sex with me. It was an eye opener when I just one night decided to not give a f@#k and straight asked for sex after I had flirted with a one girl at the bar. For my surprise, she agreed.
I was 100% sure this move would make to appear desperate pussy chasing cunt and she would ignore me immediately. But the truth was opposite.
The mindset you should get, instead of guessing either she’s looking for boyfriend, or she’s not ready to have sex with you and needs some time to get to known you, expect she’s sexually attracted to you from the moment you are talking with her. Because that’s how it is in most cases. She decides in the very first minutes of your approach either she going to have sex with you.
This will save your time and energy, and filter out the women that aren’t interested in you.
Example, my story before and after this realization:
Story #1 – How to get friendzoned
I went to bar alone, approached two girls. Can’t remember how I opened, but they liked me and let me sit in their table. I joked around, made them both laugh. One of them had a boyfriend, but the other was single, so I was going for her. I spent around 2 hours with them until bar closed. I did some cautious little physical escalation, but not making out. Got her number when we left the bar.
This was the first mistake I did. I had a very good time with them, her friend approved me as a good guy for her, and she would most likely went to after party with me if I had balls to ask so.
When I had the chance, I blew it away. And it didn’t end well. We went for few dates, but I never had balls to ask if we should go to my place. I was playing it carefully. That was the second mistake. I though she see’s me as a boyfriend material, and I was desperate to get girlfriend back then, so I didn’t want to fuck things up. Finally I got friendzoned when I didn’t make the move and she lost the interest.
Story #2 – How to avoid the friendzone, get laid and find a girlfriend
Again solo to bar. Picking up women. This was much later than the #1 story, as I had learned the lesson this far:
“Make it sexual from the start. Don’t play it careful, but with ‘All In’ attitude. Don’t guess when she’s comfortable enough to have sex with you, but expect so and find out either she’s.”
So I approached again two women. Unlike in the first story, I didn’t focus the other woman as much. I was for sure a friendly for her, but I asked ‘if I can borrow her friend a while, I really like her’. She was ‘yeah that’s okay’. The first thing did right.
I now had a private time with her. And good time to take things furthermore. I flirted with her a few minutes, then I made out with her. Pushed her towards wall, put my hands over her and made out. She’s was really getting horny. The second thing I did right. I was expecting she wanted to go for afterparty with me, so I wasn’t hesitant but asked for it. Not analyzing if I was too needy for sex or if I was asking it too early. She agreed.
When her friend came back, there was a guy with her who was like me in the past. He didn’t do anything sexual with her or flirt. Talked about school or work or whatever. He asked the phone number, and she friendly gave it to him. Also friendly friendzoned him. I felt bad for him, I should had teach him how to pickup women.But as I was busy with my girl, I had to make the move. Not long until we were on my place.
If you think one night stands won’t lead anywhere and can’t be turned something more serious, it’s possible. Although it may not be the best way to find a girlfriend, I have met some very cool girls I dated a while after ons. It’s not an immediate redflag if she’s having an casual sex. Almost everyone have at some point. It’s actually easier to date her after you have had sex with her, like I stated in this post about how to retain her interest after the first time of having sex.
I’m not saying phone numbers are useless, you can find excellent women by only getting the phone number and going for dates, but the earlier you have sex with her, the better chances are she’s not flaking. I found one of my girlfriends by getting her phone number on bar and going for few dates. The difference between this and the #1 was, that I was creating a sexual tension with her from the beginning, and wasn’t afraid to not ask for it. Even though she rejected the first attempts, she still wanted to meet me and finally after few dates it went to sex, leading to relationship.
Anyway, the moral of these stories was:
Don’t be afraid to be a sexual with her from the beginning.
The #1 me was way too cautious and passive about getting things to next levels, as #2 wasn’t afraid the outcome and played it.
You can compare this to Poker. There are different types of player in the poker:
- Passive players who are paying the stakes but won’t bet by themselves and don’t have any aggression.
- Players who play it cool and smart, the ‘Tight-aggressive’ style, will pay the stakes, but will bluff and have some aggression to bet.
- Maniac. The very aggressive player who is betting like crazy and is impossible to read his/her hands.
A one thing is sure with these types of players. The passive one won’t win. Ever.
When it comes to picking up women, you can’t be the passive one. Passive players get friendzoned. Maniacs may get laid here and there, as they would take the action to ask for sex, but this style isn’t the best either.
Focus on being like ‘Tight-aggressive’. Play it smart, but don’t rush for sex until you have played your cards right. You need to have some aggression to go for it.
This is the ‘Bad Boy’ vibe women loves. A man who isn’t afraid to take things furthermore.
About Pickup lines
As I prefer the direct opening lines, like “Hello, how’s your night? You are cute btw”, I will share a list of opening lines I have used in the past:
Indirect opening lines at the bar. These were the very first opening lines I did. I played it carefully and didn’t want to make me look like I’m picking up them, but just asking random questions I would ask anyone. If they were cool to have conversation with me, I would continue the small talk after these lines.
“Hello, do you have idea why that part of the club is closed this night? Last time I was here it was open and it was very cool!”
”A quick question. Would you date your best friend’s ex? Two of my friends are in the situation like this, and I would like to help them and need some women’s perspective.”
”Hello, I need some women’s perspective if you can answer? Do I look gay?”
”Sorry, quick question. Which side the bar you prefer more, the rock or the party side?”. Her:”Party, why?”. ”High five, me too. I told my friends that it’s better side and they didn’t believe it, so I had to go to ask random people opinions”.
”Sorry, do you know if this is a gay nightclub?”. Her: ”No, why?”. Me: ”Okay thanks! Some just tried to pickup me and I though I had lost in the gay bar”.
The gay nightclub opener was my favorite at the time and got me the best results.
If you are inexperienced, you can do these indirect opening lines. It’s much easier to handle the rejections, as you don’t directly indicate your interest on her and get personal rejection (Which they usually aren’t).
After I did a while these indirect pickup lines and got some experience with talking with women, I still wasn’t at the point of getting laid regularly.
I got tired of having the mask on me and always delievering the same story when I went for girl. I wanted to try something new.
I wanted to try the most natural pickup lines you see in the movies. Just being yourself, going directly to compliment her and introduce yourself.
I’ve told those opening lines many times on my sites and why they are efficient, so I’m too lazy to rewrite them. But as simple as it gets:
”Hello, how’s night? You are cute. I’m Brad”.
The reason why the direct approach is efficient compared to indirect, is because you get immediately the feedback if she’s into you, and therefore saves a lot of time. Also women appreciate the confidence of giving the compliment to random stranger face to face. (On Social Media and Tinder it’s not, as they are getting hundreds of compliments). That’s why you already stand out of other in the real life.
Then there was a period I wanted to test my limits and find out if it’s possible to pickup women with ridiculous opening lines.
I had built a balls and great ”I don’t give a Fuck” attitude when it came to rejections. I was very confident, douche, little arrogant. The generic ’Bad Boy’ vibe. By the way if you already haven’t read my program about how to build courage to approach women everywhere, you read it here. It’s two week program of drills to boost your confidence, social skills and playfulness. And most importantly becoming immune to rejections.
Anyway, not going to advertise more of it, I will list some of the lines I can remember:
I’m walking towards toilet. Two women are coming out. Opening line: ”Hello beautiful ladies, were you taking a shit?”. Got laid.
A girl in police uniform at the halloween party in da club. I walk towards her, take her handcuffs and put them on my hands, saying: ”I guess we need to spent this night together now”. Got laid.
A girl with neon glowing hat walks towards me at the club. I grab the hat and say: ”Nice hat, can I try this out if I could get some pussy?”. Didn’t get laid. Not because of the opener, she laughed and liked my arrogant move, but other things.
”Hello, you are very beautiful lady”. Her: ”Thanks”. Me: ”Well, I would like to eat your pussy a whole night till sunrise”. Didn’t get laid. This was because of the opening line. Very horrible one, don’t use this.
”Nice tits/ass. I have better though, you want to try?”. Used this line many times, got laid from time to time.
On the dancefloor, I go dance with random woman. We don’t change a word, but start making out almost immediately. I whisper in her ear: ”You are hot. And you have great lips, I would like to have my cock between them”. Not long until I got laid at the toilet. She wasn’t even drunk. (I don’t approach too drunken women, only little tipsy).
This style was a ”Maniac” if we compare again to Poker. I did get laid from time to time with these kind of ridiculous moves, but also shit tons of rejections. Anyway, the best results were with the direct opening lines, where I compliment and flirt with her.
Some techniques to boost your status and make her more attracted into you
As we know how the attraction works, besides looks, money and demeanor; more than that the women are attracted to the power and the status.
Easiest way to get laid a lot is to become a celebrity.
On the other hand, you don’t need to become celebrity to get laid a lot. Next I’m going to list some techniques to ’boost’ your status when you are talking with her.
One thing that attracts women, is a guy who gets a lot of women. If you can subtly deliver her a message that you are desired by other women, she will be more into you.
Even though I said ealier in this post that she will decide in the first few minutes if she is going to have sex with you, you can seduce her if she is a little bit interested in you. That’s where these kinds of techniques become useful.
I talked about that on my book ”The Lonewolf Game”, in the chapter of learning the ability to read either she’s into you or not. Here’s a straight copypaste from the book:
Ability to read women
This is the skill women love. It demonstrates authority and you being experienced with women. And guys who are experienced with women are attractive.
Here are steps how you can learn to read if they are interested in you, or are they ready to go for next level. Example for kiss, for sex.
Very interested, little bit of interested or not interested at all
- When you first meet them, their facial expressions are the good sign if they are really interested in you, little bit of interest or not at all. If they act bitchy, not laugh at your jokes, have a one word replies like ”ok” for your questions, then don’t try to force the attraction. They are not interested in you and it’s better to move on to next one. Better to skip this and look for one that’s actually interested in you. You can’t comfort them all.
- Little bit of interested. They respond politely on your approach and are willing to have a small talk. They smile on you, but are not giggling loudly when you are talking. They have some attraction towards you, but you need to demonstrate more of your attractive qualities to make them very interested on you. This means, you look good for them, but you need to add some more value of showing you are an attractive male. Dominance, playfulness, acting confident. Tease her a little bit and look at her response. If she is giggling, continue. Teasing her is a way to create an sexual tension. Soon escalate physically, and find out either she open to you or not. You can example ask her on dance floor, and go for kiss on there. If she approves, you are good to go, and escalate even more. If not, take a few steps back and laugh at yourself like: ”Haha sorry, I’m too fast to take things further”. And try to kiss later again. Even if she refuses again, but are willing to have an conversations with you and want to give her phone number, you could have found a great girl who have a high standards for not letting anyone in her pants. She can be a girl that wants to go for multiple dates before you can have a sex. Take the phone number and go for dates to find out. Later in this book how to.
- Very interested. They shows immediately a huge attraction and interest on you. They are giggling loudly whatever you say. They have constant eye contact with you. But they may not say they are a lot into you, in the fear of rejection and losing you. This is when you need to be a Man and have balls to take a things further, if she is not doing the initiative. You can go for kiss with them like in few minutes after approach, even going for sex very soon. Many guys are afraid to take the lead and escalate, even they meet a girl who is showing this much interest. If they cannot take a role as Man, she can lose the interest by realizing that he was just an average guy who don’t have balls to take a lead. Don’t be this guy if you meet a girl like this. When you indicate that you can read her and be the man who is not afraid to take a things for next level, she just gets more horny.
The key to read women is to follow how they respond your actions, either you are teasing them or escalating physically. If they respond positive way, go for next step and escalate more. On the negative respond, one step back and two step forward soon when she’s comfortable, example going for make out.
Copypaste ends here.
Little bit of interested. Little bit. Little.
Turn it to huge interest and make her horny. Some techniques:
- Talk about travelling with your friends. The more exotic place, the better. This is immediate status boost and indicates you have a good social circle and interesting lifestyle. Better if you can stealthy throw there you were banging a lot of chicks on these adventures.
- Say something about your ex, but don’t start talking about her. It can be as little thing as: ”I used to be in this bar a lot with my ex, bad memories. Hopefully you can reforge my memories”. The point of this is to show you have relationship experience and you are potential boyfriend. But don’t talk nothing about your ex. If she starts asking, be neutral. Don’t diss your ex, neither worship. Neutral. If you talk a shit about your ex, she may think you will talk about her shit too.
- Let her know or tell a story about you hanging out with some high status and important people. It’s instant status boost for you to know some cool people.
If you don’t have an ex-girlfriend, or you don’t hang out with cool people and travel a lot, you can make up a stories if your morals let you do so. I personally wouldn’t. I’m a bad liar, I once tried to pickup woman by telling her that I’m a professional poker player travelling around the world playing tournaments, but got caught. Was pretty embarrassing moment. It was the first and last time I made up a story like that. Only telling my real life experiences nowadays.
Making up a stories is not recommended unless you only want to get one night stand leading nowhere. If you make up stories, she’s into you and you start dating, things start getting more serious, the lies on the past will get you back at some point. Relationships are all about honesty, so don’t make up stories if you are into serious long term relationship.
The more experiences you get, the easier it becomes to demonstrate your status for women.
Story time. About a technique I used to flirt with good success.
Story #3 How to flirt with hot chicks and make them chase you
This happening opened my eyes and proved me that looks isn’t everything, (Long long time ago,when I had gotten some experience but still on the beginning of my journey. Before I maximized my looks).
Again at the club. Not the same. None of the stories this far have happened on the same place.
Anyway, I approached a two hot women. A very hot, legit 9, way out of my league. I just went there as a half joke, knowing that I will 100% get rejected.
Can’t remember the opening line, but I went there with over confident douche attitude. Like I was the coolest guy in the club. For my surprise, I didn’t get immediate brutal rejection like: “get the f@#k out of here”. The other hottie laughed at my jokes, and the other was lightly smiling, not so interested. A little cold maybe. We were standing at that moment. I said: “Let’s go sit to the table” and wrapped my arms confidently around both of them, walking with two hot women on my arms. I got a lot of stares from other girls when I walked.
We sat to the table, and I was in the middle of them. I still had that mask of over confident dude, which I really wasn’t at the time. I was just faking it. I wanted to test my limits.
For my body language, I sat with wide posture, laying relaxed to the sofa, and of course arms over both of the women. Like a boss. I was starting to believe I’m a f@#king alpha and got constant dopamine boost when I was flirting with these hotties.
Can’t remember how the conversation went, but now the other hottie was warming up to me too. First she was a little cold, but now they both where into me and flirted with me.
Sadly I didn’t know at the time how to take things furthermore, and I hadn’t balls to ask for sex. So things didn’t go anywhere. I got approached though by other girl afterwards. She maybe saw me as a high status guy who is hanging out with hot women. I f@#cked up things with her too, same reason: No balls to go for furthermore. This is probably the most important thing you should learn when you want to be good with women. Just not giving a f@#k and just ask for it when you see she is interested.
This story wasn’t though useless. It was a big eye opener and confidence boost for me, as an average guy I was, got way better looking chicks to interested in me. A good learning session. I started to craft more this attitude which was attracting women, until I mastered it. First I had to fake it. But you know the phrase: “Fake it till you make it”, it’s true. As time went, this confident, flirty attitude, become my second nature. Every time I was talking with women, I was flirting without noticing it. It just became so natural.
The point of the story:
Believe in yourself. If you believe in yourself, other’s will respect you more. Women will be attracted to you. Take a routine of saying every morning you wake up and look at the mirror: “I’m the f@#king boss!”. You will start believe in yourself and become more confident.
Building a Sexual Tension
There need to be a spark of the passion with you and the woman. A sexual tension. To create and making this spark more powerful, here’s a to-do list:
- Eye contact. The best way to build sexual tension. Look deeply into her eyes, like you would look through her head. You don’t need to be staring on her eye all the time, then it may become a little bit creepy, but have that eye contact most of the time. If you are thinking about that you are looking only other eye, it’s natural. I over analyzed about the eye contact at one point and though that I was only looking to one eye, but it’s impossible to stare to both eyes at the same time. A good time to go for make out is, when you go out of words and there is a silence moment. Look into her eyes, pull her towards you, say something like: “You are so cute”, and go for kiss.
- Compliment her. And then pull it back and tease her. Like: “You are so lovely, I’m falling in love with you.” Her: “Haha thanks, you too!”. You: “Yeah I know. I fap myself in front of the mirror”. Her: “Hahaha”. Don’t say this with too serious tone of voice. Relaxed, playfully, jokingly. And it will work. Don’t be arrogant but be an arrogant. A little bit.
- Talk about sex. Any topic related to sex. Example if you ask her hobbies, she says: “Athletics”. You: “Wow, so you are flexible I guess?”. Her: “Hahaha yes”.
- Physical contact. The more physical contact you have, the more chances she’s willing to open her legs to you. It can start from little touching, or straight going for making out passionately. You can start it example playing a little flirting game; You: “So you do fitness, well flex your arm?” She’s flexing. Touch it. You: “Wow, it’s hard. You probably stronger than me”. Now flex your’s and let her touch it. Then you can flirt again, and soon you can example ask her to come sit on you. If she comes, it’s very easy to go for make out here. And it’s a green light she’s very much into you.
- Make her your #2 priority. AKA don’t put pussy on pedestal. Show some interest in her, but not too much. Let her chase you. The spark will be lost if she realizes you are too needy over her. She needs some tension either she can get you or not.
Important trait that will make you likable
Not only this trait is attractive for women, but also men respect and like you more.
It’s an ability of laughing at yourself. If you do something shameful, or you think so, laugh at yourself instead being shamed. Tell example a story where you did something very shameful. Instead of being blushed, laugh at yourself and be like it doesn’t matter. If you don’t feel a shame, you will be a lot stronger. It’s easier said than done, but when you do enough of ‘shameful’ stuff, you get used to it and immune for shame. Example the drills I teach on the program to become immune to rejections, the same way you will build an attitude of not caring about haters.
Also, another trait opposite of having some self irony. DON’T BRAG. People hate guys who are bragging all the time. Bragging is not what alpha males are doing. They don’t have to, as they have good enough self esteem of not needing the validation from bragging. Avoid bragging, any topic, and people will like you a lot more. As I said earlier in this post that you should deliver a message to girls you are picking up, that you have other girls chasing you. Don’t brag it. If you brag about f@#king a lot of women, they will most likely lose the interest. It need be said stealthy.
THIS POST WILL BE CONTINUED…
I’ll continue writing this article later. Till then, check some older posts if you already haven’t:
- How to be playful and escalate on dates (Guide for sex on first date)
- How to meet women if you can’t drink alcohol or don’t want to use Tinder
- How the dating game works?