Get over the fear of rejections

INTRODUCTION TO PROGRAM

As you now know my background, I started this journey by going alone to bars. That put me really uncomfortable situations and wasn’t probably best way to start this. But the real improvement when I got completely rid of my approach anxiety happened after I started applying these drills in this method on daytime.

They put me even more far of my comfort zone than going to bars, as daytime approaching isn’t as socially acceptable as on nighttime. When I did these on daytime, I really wasn’t anymore afraid to go on nightime alone, actually very confident. The routine of my life was at that time: weekdays doing daytime approaches/dates and on the weekend bars.

I have done every of these drills myself, mostly in the order of this book. I was really nervous first to approach people sober on daytime, so I little by little started it by asking directions and took things furthern like you will see in the method.

This program is designed to get rid of your approach anxiety, making you more confident on social situations and being comfortable around girls. It starts from very babysteps, and I recommend to follow each day. The order of drills are meant to be cumulative so they become harder little by little, and you expand your comfort zone slowly. You basically break your limits on every drill and become more confident every day.

The drills will put you in awkward situations, but don’t worry, when you put yourself enough of these kind of situations, you develop a habit of not caring what other people think. Even if the drills sounds stupid and ridiculous to do, trust me, they work. In time you see a not big deal to approach hot girl and flirt with her.

In this program there are 15 days of different drills, but you don’t have to do them all a row. You may acquire phone numbers during these drills, so it’s better to turn them instanly to dates and follow the program when you have time again. Don’t keep though too long break between the drills.

If the drills become too hard and you think you can’t do it, repeat the earlier drills until you become enough confident to start the next drill. Everytime it feels bad to go for it, but the prize of this is huge. You need to remember it. For me this was firstly a very uncomfortable, but I kept going and finally reached the point when I enjoyed doing this.

Try to apply the behavior mentioned in this book earlier in the Chapter 2, like relaxed body language and charismatic behavior in these drills, so they will become natural behavior of yours in time.

It’s awesome feeling when you finally get rid of the approach anxiety and won’t think a second to approach girl you are attracted to. You will get there if you do these enough, I promise.

Good luck!

WEEK 1 – Babysteps to break the anxiety to approach strangers

Day 1

This takes about 1 hour per day, depending on your distances to downtown. 1 hour per day is not much time to sacrifice, especially as you know how much this will improve your life.

The first week is basically breaking the ice and starting slowly learning to not give a fuck. Don’t focus at this point for getting laid, the only goal is to build up your confidence.

To make this comfortable enough and not taking things too far from the start, we start on the daytime.

Go to downtown example, where you know you are safe and there are lot of strangers, so you won’t face people you know already.

The first drill is to warm you up and make you feel outgoing. The drills coming afterwards are going to make you feel awkward, and it’s good as you’ll become immune for it. But let’s first start something that isn’t awkward. By asking directions.

Ask minimum of 10 strangers for directions. No matter either they are males or females. The conversations don’t need to be long. Example:

You: ”Hello, sorry?”

Stranger: ”Yes?”

You: ”Do you know where is the train station?”

Stranger: ”Just walk 5 minutes to left and …..”

You: ”Thank you!”

At the beginning you don’t need to be the talking one, but you can ask the questions. By going talking to strangers you are learning habit to become outgoing and having convos with anyone.

Now if you want even more improvement, try to keep these conversations a little bit longer, example asking more detailed questions or giving statements:

You: ”Hello, sorry?”

Stranger: ”Yes?”

You: ”Do you know where is the train station?”

Stranger: ”Just walk 5 minutes to left and …..”

You: ”Okay, so it takes about 15 minutes to get there?”

Stranger: ”Yes about”

You: ”Right, thank you so much! I got so lost here, don’t hang often here haha”

Stranger: ”Hopefully you find there!”

You: ”Actually do you know either there is faster way to get in the

[place x]

than train?”

Stranger: ”I’m not sure sorry”

You: ”Okay no problem, I’ll take the train then”

After doing this 10 times, congratulations, the first day and drill is done.

Day 2

Today we are going to push comfort zone little bit far and go for more awkward situations. Remember, even you’ll feel awkward and maybe embarrassed, you will get improvement. In time you’ll be immune to all of these feelings. Imagine how good feeling it must be to not feel a shame? You need to put yourself in these uncomfortable situations.

So let’s start on the daytime as we did on day 1.

Start doing the day 1 drill, asking directions for 5 times now to warm you up.

Drill 2

Say ”Hi” 15 people that are walking past you. Nothing else. Only take eye contact and say ”Hi”, and walk past them. Again, no matter either they are females or males. Also you don’t need to push this and say ”hi” for every stranger that are walking past you, but you can take it slow and walk a little bit then greet. Then again walk a little bit and greet again.

This is awkward moment probably both of you. It feels weird to greet some random stranger on street and not saying anything for them. But I guarantee by doing this awkward drill highly lowers the attempt for going talk to strangers and improves your approach anxiety a lot. Next time when you are going actually talking to strangers, you’ll feel much better as you already did awkward approaches by only greeting.

On the other hand, this is good exercise at the beginning, as you throw yourself into awkward situation but immediately be safe as you walk past them. Remember, you are not likely encountering on them ever again so it doesn’t matter what they think of you.

After doing this 15 times, the day 2 drills are done. You are good to go, the drills will become slowly harder as you go furthern.

Day 3

Warming up with day 1 drill, but this time do this for group of people. Example go for group of 3 people and ask them for directions. You need to learn to put yourself to interact with multiple people, as you later approach group of girls, so you get used to this. Do this 5 times.

A harder varitation of Drill 2

This will be a way more awkward for you, but also kills greatly your approach anxiety and the feeling of shame. Basically, do the drill 2 and say ”Hi” to strangers, but this time do it a row for next 10 people that are walking past you. Even if there is a 3 people walking a few meter distance between them, say hi to all of them. This will feel very awkward, but trust me, you are about to become immune for the feel of shame.

Also, this time you can’t choice for whom you are going to greet with. The 10 must be in order, if you skip one of them, reset this drill and try again until you greet 10 people in a row. By knowing you need to reset the drill if you fail pushes you to out of your comfort zone. When I did these drills, I used to fail at after greeting like 6 people and then starting over. Just force youself out of your comfort zone and do it for 10 times a row, you can then gladly complete this day drill with great improvement of killing the approach anxiety.

Day 4

Again warming up like on the day 3 by going for group of people and asking example for directions. Do this 5 times.

Drill 3

You may be wondering when it’s time to go for girls and stop this nonsense of putting yourself in awkward situations. Today we start it. We have done now enough of approaching the strangers, and it’s time to start building the confidence for being outgoing around girls.

We start this still slowly by doing indirect approachess. The goal is not yet to try to pick them up, as this gives you a pressure of getting rejected, but to get used to talk with girls.

Approach a girl who is walking alone and you find attractive. Ask again direction for train station example. This time try to have a small talk with her instead of walking away after getting the directions. Try to change the topics if you are going out of words, like the bolded ones in this example:

……

….

Her: ”I’m not sure sorry”

You: ”Okay no problem, I’ll take the train then. Are you shopping here by the way?

Her: ”Yes, trying at least”

You: ”Have you found anything yet?”

Her: ”Not yet”

You: ”I don’t come here shopping often, it’s long time since last time. I think I bought a christmas present back then.

Her: ”Haha, it’s long time since christmas.”

You: ”Yes it is, I’m glad about it. Always stressed when I’m trying to get ideas for presents.”

Her: ”Yes, it’s stressful time”

You: ”Just remembered that I have my good female friend’s birthday coming soon. This is random but have you any gift ideas as a woman haha?” (By saying you have women in your social circle raises your status)

Her: ”Haha, some haircare products maybe?” (or whatever she recommends)

You: ”Excellent, thank you so much! Sorry for bothering you this much.”

Her: ”Haha no problem”

You: ”Anyway, it was nice to have conversation with you, have a good day!”

Her: ”Yes it was, you too!”

Try to get the conversation to last a minute or two, you can use that example conversation if you have no idea what to talk about. If you have courage, you can even ask her phone number after end of the conversation, but it’s not must. We are going there later anyway.

Do the ’Drill 3’ five times. Some girls may keeep walking even after you approached them, but in this drill you can count them as success. So basically approach 5 girls and try to have a short small talk with them. You’ll also see that other’s respond more positively than others. You will start recognizing the variance and that some people are negative and some are friendly. This is what I talked about hot the dating game works.

Day 5

Warming up again like earlier. You are probably starting to feel comfortable about going for strangers to ask directions, and that’s a good sign of development. Let’s still continue this, so again approach 5 times a group of strangers to ask directions. Preferring group of beatiful girls to get used for interacting with attractive women.

Variaton of drill 3.

This time we are probably going again for awkward situations, as we do the same we did with drill 2 variaton. So approach the next 5 attractive girls a row who walks past you and try to have a small talk with them as you did on the drill 3. If you don’t approach, reset the count and start over for going 5 approaches.

Even if you just approached a girl and the next attractive girl is walking near, go straight for this next girl. This will put you in awkward situation, as you might think what the girl you just approached thinks when you go for next girl right away. Good way to learn to not give a fuck what other’s think.

Day 6

The drills of first week are coming close to end.

Today we don’t start with the approaching with group of people, but approach group of attractive girls for directions. 5 times this warming up drill.

Drill 4

This far we haven’t yet tried to pick up the girls, but have just small talk.

Now we go again a little bit furthern, and try to get their phone number. The aspect of picking up the girl gives a more stress for approach, as you may get rejected. When you were just asking for directions, you didn’t have to think about either they would reject you. Now you have to take the risk and face the rejections. Rememeber, don’t take them personally. Again your goal should be getting rid of approach anxiety and increasing your social skills instead of getting laid. There will be rejections in this dating game, and you have to learn to deal with them.

So, we do what we did in drill 3, approach girls for directions and have a little small talk with them. But now at the end of the conversation, we do this:

……

…..

You: ”Excellent, thank you so much! Sorry for bothering you this much.”

Her: ”Haha no problem”

You: ”Anyway, it was nice to have conversation with you. I like you, you are pretty cute, we should go to coffee or something some day?

Now she may react positively or reject you, like saying she has a boyfriend. If she rejects you, just reply politely:

You: ”Okay no problem, have a good day anyway!”

If she don’t reject you and reply like this:

Her: ”That would be nice”

You: ”Nice, put your phonenumber here so I’ll text you”. Hand your phone for her and let her type her number. After this:

You: ”Was nice to meet you, I’ll catch you up! Have a good day!”

Approach until you get 5 times to this point where you are able to ask a phone number. If you get rejected, no matter as long as you tried to ask a phone number.

Day 7

The last day of the week one. If you’ve done every drills right, you are likely improved a lot and starting to get more comfortable when you are approaching random people. There is still a lot of coming to get completely rid of approach anxiety and becoming outgoing and confident around girls.

As the end of the week 1, this is final challenge of the week. Today we don’t have the warm ups, but we go straight to the drill 5:

Drill 5

This far you are now able to approach girls, have a little small talk and maybe get their phone number.

Today we do the same, but this time we have a time count and limit of approaches.

Approach 10 girls in 20 minutes, and try to pick them up. If you get rejected straight away and they don’t even reply to you, this still counts. Every approachess are count this time.

Put example timer running on your phone to see the time count, and start approaching. If you approach 9 girls in 20 minutes, reset the drill and start over. The time count pushes you to over your limits. On the best scenario you get 10 phone numbers in 20 minutes, but that’s not the point right now.

After you have accomplished this drill, congratulations! The week one is now over and you have a good start of becoming good at this.

Stats of week 1:

-Approaches for strangers 30

-Saying “hi” to strangers 25

-Approaching girls 25

Total 80 approaches for random people.

Sign up for newsletter below and get the second week program free!

Comment, Share, Like

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *