A bit more philosophical article this time.
The mistakes of the past…
Why you should forget them and focus in this moment and the future.
You know these times when you regret a lot of something you did or did not. They haunt on your mind and hold your back to improve your life.
I had these kinds of thoughts in the past. The shadows of my past mistakes did hold my back.
The anxiety. The remorse.
I overcame that mindset. And I can say that beating the mindset of regretting the mistakes of the past will help you a lot in many ways in life.
Example in the past I regret spending a lot of good years of my youth for playing WoW.
Years when I could have forged more valuable memories and experiences than playing video games.
The toxic mindset held my back in the beginning of my self improvement journey.
The way I changed my mindset, was that I had to realize I don’t have any power over the past.
What is done is done. There is no way I can go back in time and change the things.
I would spent a lot of time and energy to analyze what I should have done in the past. Instead of focusing in this moment. The right now.
To focus on how I can make myself comfortable in this moment and in the future. That’s where I still have the power. Not in the past.
I like to think it like hourglass.
The sand presents the time of your life. There is limited time. And the time is passing all the time. The sand is running down to the lower layer of the hourglass. The layer that presents the past.
You know when you try to hold sand in your hand. It won’t stay no matter how hard your grip is. It will drain out somewhere and drop down.
You don’t have power over it. Like you don’t have power over the time that have been spent. If you would try to grab the sand back from the lower layer, it would drain down anyway. You can’t do nothing with it.
But the upper layer. The time you still have.
This moment. Your future. That’s where you can hold the power and decide what to do with the time you still have. You don’t want to spent it by trying to reach back the missed time that has already ran in the lower layer.
You want to make decisions that makes you to build the future you want. To build the future where there is no regrets. A future where you can forge memories to remember for.
You want to make this moment good. You need to become the boss of yourself. The boss of your own happiness. Not wait that something will magically happen and make this moment better, but take the charge and responsibility to make yourself happy.
Example about dating. I’ve talked a lot about that in the book, how you can make boring evening unforgettable by going alone out there and taking the action.
One quote that always gets me up on my feet is:
When you are old you don’t want to remember things you didn’t do. Instead you want to remember things you did do.
The fear of regrets. You need to beat it. Don’t regret anything.
Regrets are in the lower layer now. You have no power over them.
When you can get acquire this mindset, the quality of your life will improve a lot.
Not only with dating, but on every aspect of your life. Aim to acquire this mindset. For me the hourglass example helped me to understood how really limited the time we have is and there is no time to waste it for regrets.