How to get laid at bar/club

So here’s a complete guide how to go from approach to sex at bar/club by solo.

I prefer going alone if you are aiming to get laid. I’ve a lot of experience by going solo and have had one of the best nights these times. Also great success when it comes to picking up women.

The preparation

Grooming, styling, maximizing your potential. If you already haven’t read the guide how to become as good looking as possible, check it out here.

One important thing what you should not do before going out, is to masturbate. This will instantly kill your motivation and you are more likely making up reasons why to not go out there. Also, if you are taking alcohol, you are less likely getting that whiskey dick when you are don’t fap before.

If you are too nervous about going alone, drink example a couple of beers and listen some music that pumps you up for lessening the anxiety. You don’t need this after you got good at this, but if you are just starting, this can be a good way to relax a little bit. If you haven’t read about yet this post about how to get over the anxiety of approaching women, read it here.

I was myself so nervous when I went the first night alone, that I had to take some alcohol. After this I went on sober thought, and that’s when the best development happens. After you go sober out of your comfort zone, the comfort zone will dramatically expand. Do this again on drunk afterwards, and you feel unstoppable.

At the Bar/Club

1. Investigate

Enter the club and grab a drink if you feel so. This will relax you a little bit. I take a beer or just water, depending if I’m thirsty for beer at the moment. I don’t take alcohol for lessening the anxiety, as I’ve done this so many times I can do this sober too. You will too if you already don’t, after you get good at this and get the experience. I can say it’s pretty relieving feeling when your dating life isn’t dependent of alcohol. This also saves a lot of money.

Walk around and take a look at how’s the crowd there. If there is a ratio of 90:10 guys to girls, just change the bar to another where is more girls. I may try to pickup these few first, but it’ll probably go nowhere. Sometimes I had succeed to pull on cases where there were mostly guys, but that’s rare, so I prefer places where are more opportunities.

2. Approaching

After wandering around and realizing a good possibilities of girls you would be attracted to, start cold approaching immediately. This way you get on the mood and outgoing vibe, and won’t just stuck in the table. Don’t be concerned about ”warming up”, but have a goal on the very first approach that you will fuck her.

There are nights when I have been luckily on the right place at the right time, and pulled the first girl I approached. Then there are nights when I’ve gone more than 20 approaches, and still didn’t managed to pull. The variance can be a huge.

Where to approach?

Now if you have no idea where to pickup girls at bar, these are good places:

  • Smoking room. More quiet and easy to start convos like asking a light.
  • At bar when getting drinks. It’s good place to start convos, and get out easily if it’s not going anywhere.
  • Dancefloor.
  • Quiet spots (These rarely appear in nightclubs)

Not as good places:

  • Girls sitting at table. 3 is a good amount. If they are just 2 of them, you need to entertainment her friend so she won’t cockblock you. Sometimes though it’s okay for her friend if you are just 3 of you there to have all the time with you and her. 3 of girls is better, as now they have 2 of them still left to hang out each other and you can have all the time with the girl you are picking up.

Bad places:

  • People having their own inside social circle. Usually bunch of guys and girls who are only together and don’t socialize none out of their circle. Not only if you are picking up girl from this kind of group, there usually comes the jealousy guys trying to cockblock you. Avoid these, so you don’t waste time.

How to open?

Earlier I used to mass approach and go for inside groups I mentioned above, even I knew it wouldn’t go anywhere. It was back then just training to get rid of approach anxiety and expand my comfort zone. Now I only approach these who I know I would have chances, like not jumping on those inside circles.

Examples of how to open conversation:

  • “Hello, how’s your night going so far? you are cute btw”
  • “Hi you are hot, wanna dance?”
  • “You are both cute, how’s your night?”
  • “You have a lighter” [she gives a light] “Thx, you are cute btw, I’m …[hand shake]”

Showing your intentions right away that you are attracted to her and want to fuck her. Not some indirect opening lines where she may think you just want to have a conversation with her. It’s not a desperate move to compliment her, at least when you aren’t doing it too much.

On club environment it’s all about you want to fuck. The earlier you show your intentions, the better. She will anyway decide in the first few minutes of your encounter either she will have sex with you or not. So it’s just better to make clear that you are the Man who do what he want’s and is confident enough to be straight about this. Not playing some stupid games.

After opening, have a little small talk. Somewhere around 5-15 minutes is good enough time of talking. Then you start escalating physically and building the sexual tension. It isn’t necessary to have a step by step escalating routine, example first slowly touching her arm, then knee, then hug her, then make out and so on. You can still get laid even zero escalating, but this kind of physical escalating is like foreplay and you can read either she is willing to have a sex with you.

If she rejects your attempt to go for make out, don’t piss off. Take it cool and have a little humor and self irony, like: ”Haha, sorry I was too quick to take things further” or ”Haha, sorry I’m too aggressive, but you are too hot so I can’t resist”.

Continue small talk, tease her playfully. Remember to have an eye contact, this greatly builds the sexual tension between you. Now try again afterwards, if she rejects again, repeat. Continue a while, if you see that things aren’t going anywhere and she isn’t interested to make out, just leave politely. Maybe ask her phonenumber for date (Some girls aren’t doing make outs with strangers at the same night, but are willing to fuck on the dates).

If she approves your attempt to make out, it’s all in your hands now. Keep making out passionately, tease her, take her maybe to dancefloor and do some dirty dancing with her. Keep it physical all the time from there, example grab her hand when you are walking from one place to other. It’s physical game, and the more you are at physical contact, the more she is comfortable to be around you and is sexually interested. It warms her up.

At some point ask where is the after party, and suggest either of your places. Again, if she is not ready yet to leave bar with you and go for your/her place, keep doing what you did before and build more the sexual tension. And ask again later.

When she agrees, you have succeeded. Have a fun and remember to have a safe sex! If you want to go hardcore, you can ask straight for sex in the nearest toilet. All this takes is about 15-60 minutes. I usually won’t bother to be with girl over hour if it looks like things aren’t going nowhere, unless the girl is super cool and I would like to take her to date.

But what if she rejects me in the first 10 seconds? Don’t worry, this is usual. Just go for new girl and do steps above. It’s not a rocket science, shortly and simply the steps are this:

  1. Approach and make your intentions clear
  2. If she rejects, go back to step 1. If she don’t reject, go to step 3.
  3. Have a small talk, example ask where she’s from, how’s her night been this far, do she go this place often. The topic can be whatever as long as you keep it playful and tease her.
  4. After few minutes escalate physically. Depending where you are, example if you sit next to her, pull her against you. If you are standing and you have balls to pull your hand over her hip, go for it. Remember to not force it if she refuses. If you are not confident enough to directly escalate, ask her to dance floor. That’s a good place to escalate and go for make outs.
  5. Ask directly to place for after party aka sex. If she disagree, back to step 4. If she disagree again and looks like things aren’t going nowhere, back to step 1. Otherwise,congratulations!

What if there isn’t girls to approach on quiet spots?

No worry, just go for dance floor and try from there.

How to escalate, go for kiss and take things to next level?

Now after opening, she either rejects you or agreed to have your company. This doesn’t mean though she is sexually interested in you. So next step is to find out either she is willing to fuck you or not.

Few signs of her being interested in you:

  • She is smiling a lot.
  • She laughs a lot whatever you are saying. Even it wouldn’t be funny.
  • She brushes her hair.
  • She is willing to ask about you and keep conversation flowing. You aren’t the one who need to be the one talking.
  • Her face is blushing.
  • She is having an eye contact.

Few signs of her not being interested. At this point just leave politely, things aren’t going nowhere.

  • She is not having an eye contact with you.
  • She answers to you with one or two words. Like “Okay”, “No”.
  • She acts cold.

After you open the conversation, have a little small talk with her. Find out how she behaves. If she acts like signs of being interested, you are good to go.

If you have no idea how to tease and be playful, check this guide (It’s link to my other site)

Example opening:

You: “Hello, how’s your night going so far? you are cute btw”

Her: “Hello, thanks. Pretty good so far, how’s yours?” [she smiles and brushes her hair, meaning she might be interested]

You: “Good so far, I was going to order drinks but saw you and had to approach haha”

Her: “Okay haha”

Handshake her after this and introduce yourself:

You: “I’m Brad, nice to meet you!”

Her: “I’m [name], nice to meet you too!”

Some small talk:

You: “So, this’s your favorite bar?”

Her: “Haha no, I don’t know how I ended up here”

You: “Okay, mine neither haha. Are you from here or?”

Her: “Yes, living at [some place]”

A little teasing.

You: “Damn, that’s rich area. Maybe we can live there in future after our weddings.”

Her: “Weddings haha?? You are taking things far pretty fast”

You: “Yes I’m. I’m also gold digger. Willing to marry only rich women. I’m poor as fuck myself”

Some self irony. Also displaying confidence to say things straight.

Her: “Haha, I’m not into gold diggers”

You: “Oh really? Not even me, just look at how irresistible I’m.”

Her: “Haha I see”.

Do this a playful way and look how she reacts. If she is into you, just keep going. If you go out of words, ask her to dance. It’s good place to escalate physically. Although you can escalate physical at the place you are at the moment, sitting in table example:

Ask her example either she goes for gym. If she does, ask her to flex her biceps. Now squeeze it and be like:

You: “Woah, you are pretty strong. I’m getting scared.”

Her: “Haha”

Now let her test your. Don’t brag it. Even if you have huge arms, joke about it:

You: “Your’s are almost bigger than mine.”

Then throw some playful line:

You: “But look at my tits, they are bigger than yours”

Her: “Haha, almost”

You: “You wanna try them when flexed?”

If she is still touching you, she is most likely into you sexually. Little by little take this furthermore. Next you can check either she has wristlet or something. Take her hand and look at it:

You: “Nice wristlet btw, most be worth of thousands as you are rich. Don’t worry I’m not going to steal it, just looking it haha”

Her: “Haha, should I believe you”

A lot of physical touching and flirting. This is what it’s about. You can push her a little bit and then pull her back, making her more into you. Like:

You: “You are so perfect. Only bad thing is, I don’t date blondes”

Her: “That’s sad”.

You: “Maybe I can make an expectation with you. Maybe”

Her: “Nice haha”

How to go for make out?

Now when you have a little spark and sexual tension, it’s time to go for make out. Don’t ask for it. Go for it. Like:

You: “Your lips look so good”

Her: “Thanks”

Pull her against you and make a little kiss. Like in movies. Then continue it if she agrees. Making it more passionate. If she is into you, you can actually ask at this point if she is willing to go for after party. Don’t ask straight for sex. Ask something like: “It’s pretty hot here, I would like to leave. Should we go to your or our place?”

She may reject at this point, but it doesn’t mean she is not going to fuck you tonight. Just say: “Sorry, I’m taking things too fast. I don’t really do one night stands haha. I go for dates”. Take a step back and tease her. Ask again after a while if she would like to leave. Some will leave pretty fast, some not so fast. Just be patient. And don’t go desperate. This will kill the attraction immediately.

That was an example step by step approach to sex at bar. But the formula is same. Approach, tease her, flirt and be playful, make it physical and lastly ask for after party.

Escalating on Dance Floor and going for After party

Grab her hand and walk to dance floor. Start it slow: little bouncing in front of her, have an eye contact and smile. Then grab her both hands and slowly pull her against you. Pull your hand in her lower back like hugging. Grind yourself against her. Then turn her around and grab her ass, grind against it. Now if you have enough courage, kiss her neck from behind. This is creates an extreme sexual tension. Also rubbing her pussy or tits will make her even more horny. On the other hand you can go for make out when you are grinding infront against her. Again the same rule as before, if she refuses, don’t force it. Take steps back and try again later.

You can joke when you are grinding against her something like: ”Oh I got boner haha”. By talking about sex, she will think about sex and is more likely to be on the mood. A good way to deliver sneaky signs of making her think about sex is these kind of humor lines.

Depending on what time is, just simply ask her on the dance floor either she has a plans for after party. Now say: ”Let’s go to your place?” or ”You want to come on my place to afterparty?”. If she don’t want to leave the bar yet, just repeat steps earlier and keep the sexual tension going. Go sit table and drink, make out with her, go back to dance floor and so on.

You can say something dirty after making out, like ”Great lips, I would like to have my cock between them”. This sounds ridiculous and don’t ask me why, but some girls go extremely horny when talking dirty like this. It works, try it out. If she is an extremely horny, you can ask if she would like to have sex at toilet. They may say: ”I’m not that easy”. Reply: ”Haha sorry, you are too hot I would like to have fucked you so hard” and continue dancing like nothing happened.

How to deal with her cockblocking friend(s)?

There is no need for wingmen. Just be cool and friendly to her friends, make your intentions clear to them either. Say you really like their friend and ask a permission if you can borrow her. This way the girl you are picking up also is more likely to have sex with you as she got an permission from her friends. When she or they agree, just do the steps of escalating, teasing and asking for place where to fuck.

If her friend(s) won’t agree you, you can still fuck her though if she is attracted to you, but chances are high that you are not going tonight. Reasons can be example that she don’t want to ruin her reputation as looking too cheap. Just take phonenumber and set up date if you can’t get afterparty with her tonight.

It’s always better to approach a group of 3 girls or more than 2. It’s easy when there is 3, as you take the one of them, they still have 2 of them to have company for each other. In this situation just try to take her to somewhere other place where you can be only the two of you, example on dancefloor where you can escalate physically.

If there are only 2 girls, it’s little bit harder, but highly possible. Just have a company with them both, but make your intentions clear for who you are attracted to. You can go for make out at this point, but it’s maybe better to tease her and act playful. Some girls are okay with their friend going for make out with stranger in front of them, and some don’t. If it’s the later, ask them both to dancefloor, where you can physically escalate her with ”permission”. In good situation her friend finds a guy and you can now be only two of you with your girl.

Not necessary to escalate physically though in these kind of situations where there is 2 girls, if you are sure she is attracted to you. Just ask in good time if they have plans for afterparty. If they don’t you can be with them until bar closes and ask her now for your place. From my experience their friend won’t bother if you are going with her, as long as you acted cool and were friendly to this friend.

My first lay from bar happened this way. Before this I had played some stupid games, but now I was just fuck the ”rules”, and had fun conversation with 2 girls at bar. I didn’t escalate physically at any point. When the bar closed, I just asked from one of them if I can come over her place for tonight. And she agreed. It’s just always faster lays when you can be private with her on bar.

Sign up for Newsletter and get free sample of the eBook ‘The Lonewolf Game”, about going alone to bars. Read more here about the eBook. Also get a free program of different daily drills of the week to get over the fear of approaching women.

Comment, Share, Like

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *