If you have lost your interest to get women, or if you have no experience and you have no motivation to start your journey to get a good sex life, hopefully this post will get you started.
Motivation to get over the shyness
First thing, if you are a shy or social anxious guy like I used to be, don’t lose your hope, the transformation is possible, even if you think it’s not. Trust me, if you want enough to get over it, you will make it. It’s a hard and long journey, but it’s really worth it. Many lose their motivation to even give it a try. Don’t be that guy.
I remember thinking there is no way I could ever get over the shyness and I will be like this my whole life.
I still got the motivation to give it a try, like I told in the story of my life.
After a long journey, that memorable day for me came.
The day when I heard from people I had known a long time, they said: “You have changed so much. Accidentally you are so social and outgoing, what have you done?”, was the final evidence for me that it’s possible.
Also nowadays when I’m talking with new people and I start talking about my past for some reason, they can’t believe I’ve been a shy person.
The shyness is not in your genes. You didn’t born as a shy.
It’s probably caused by some trauma in your early childhood which you can’t remember.
I didn’t know if I had some trauma or not, neither did I knew the root of my social anxiety.
Neither don’t you have to. You don’t have to overanalyze what’s the cause of your shyness, instead you need to take an action to start the transformation. It doesn’t need to be a huge step where you go to talk with big group of girls, but with little daily steps to build your courage.
BENEFITS I GOT AFTERWARDS
Here’s a list of some benefits that improved the quality of my life after getting over the shyness, not only related for dating life:
- It’s so much more comfort to go to school/work when you are not anxious all the time either you need to interact with people. You are actually enjoying when you can talk with people from the fee of anxiety.
- All the social events are 10000x funnier:
- Before I could go to some forced social events, example some party of the school where all the students are going. I would be standing quiet in the group, hoping that someone would talk to me. While the outgoing guys were having all the attention, I was bored to dead hoping I just could be at the home playing Wow.
- After nomore shy: I’m talking with everyone, having a great happy vibe, making new friends and maybe picking up some cute girl. There are actually no boring moments at the events as I have confidence to take a lead and make even boring silent moments funny. The night is constant dopamine rush, leading to new relationships and memories to remember for.
- You don’t need alcohol no more for socializing. You can get rid of that poison completely if hate it and only use because of social pressure. Your body and mind thanks you when you go sober. Although I drink from time to time, I haven’t getting a really f#cked up in years. Only little tipsy is okay. It’s so amazing feeling when your dating life isn’t dependent on alcohol. Imagine how it would feel. You will get there, I promise.
- Your overall stress levels drops 1000x. You are no more stressing about the presentation you have tomorrow on the school. Or you don’t roll in insomnia at the bed while thinking the social event coming next day. Or you don’t think about what the cashier on the shop is thinking about your shopping. My social anxiety was so bad that every time I went to shop was nightmare, as I couldn’t buy what I wanted because I though the cashier would laugh at me. The freedom of this anxiety have made me so much happier.
These were just the minor benefits of it all. Overall the quality of the life will be so much better, you want and need to get there. If you are thinking now ”I can’t do this”, ”I will not change, I’m like this my whole life”, F#ck that shit. You will get there. You can and will change, you just need to take that first step, the hardest step. You can example use my program, even its designed to get over the fear of approaching women, it will get over your shyness. These drills in the program are the same principles I followed to get over the social anxiety.
Motivation to get women if you have lost the lust or given up the hope
I’m on my late 20’s, so this advice is mostly targeted to guys in their late teens or early 20’s, as I can relate best for guys at that age who are struggling with dating women, because I was there too. Hopefully this is though motivating to other’s as well!
I could just say that go for no-fap and maximize your testosterone levels, so you’ll be too horny to do anything to get laid.
It’s not a bad advice though, being a really horny will get you motivated to get laid. If I masturbate before going out, my motivation to pickup drops a lot.
But I want to write how to get motivation from different perspectives. Like how it enrich your life and make you happier.
How I used to have a lot of pressures of being a virgin.
If you are still virgin and depressed about it, keep reading.
A lot of men want to lose their virginity as soon as possible. It’s a status thing. So they can feel validated in the group of other men.
There was a douche guy in one of the social circle in my highschool. He had already got laid few times and found a girlfriend. We were at the party one night, and he asked if I’m still virgin. I lied to him. I didn’t want to get ashamed. It felt bad to know that many of the other guys had lost the virginity, but I was still virgin and had to lie about it.
At the time I gave a too much f#cks about what other people think of me, so it was a big deal to being a virgin.
In reality, none cares. If you are still virgin and ashamed about it, don’t. No normal men care if you have put your penis into vagina or not, except maybe some bullies, but f#ck them.
But it’s the women who care. Not all, but some women. I don’t want to make you paranoid about this, but I’ll tell you what not to do if you find a nice girl you would like to date.
One thing is sure, women loves experienced guys. When I had lost my virginity and had a few lays with different women, I found a really nice one I would like to had as a girlfriend. But I revealed my sexual history of only having sex a few times in my life, and she run away. Don’t follow my mistakes and reveal your history if you get in similar situation like me.
They all don’t care though. I sometimes like to troll when I’m picking up women and say that I’m still virgin, and they are ready to take it from me. Some of them probably would love to be the first one.
Anyway, as losing your virginity is the hardest lay you need to achieve, there are few reasons why you should get it done (Meaning you are stressing about it):
- You realize the pussy is not the #1 important thing in the world. The sex is fun, but it’s not all.
- You can now be relaxed in the moments when people are starting to talk about sex. Before I lost my virginity, I felt so uncomfortable when people would talk about sex.
- You get instant confidence boost and feel like ”It’s finally done”.
I could give you some mainstream dating advice, like: ”It doesn’t matter if you are virgin, just be yourself and you’ll find a love”. But don’t follow that kind of bullshit. To get motivated to lose your virginity and not wait for the ’One’, you should start immediately making changes to get over it.
When you get it done, the next lay will be easier. And the next one. And the next one. And finding a girlfriend becomes a lot more easier when you already have some experience and have built the confidence.
So let’s jump to the next chapter, why you should get this aspect of your life together:
Why you should get your dating life together in your early 20’s
Let’s think this as a long term plan.
What’s your goal in life?
Do you want a family and kids?
If you are not sure about what you want in life, you may someday want a family and that’s why it’s good to have this aspect together.
Even there are nowadays a high divorce rates and the term nuclear family have been destroyed, there is still good girls out there. Girls who have a traditional values and prefer having a family over hedonism, which is unfortunately too common.
Anyway, if you want to find this kind of girl, it becomes a lot more easier when you have already got your dating life together and have had a lot of experience with different women:
- You learn to dodge the bullets. Many inexperienced guys falls in love with the very first girl that shows them interest and desperately want’s her as a girlfriend. Sometimes these girls are not a wife material, leading him into a misery and broken heart. Inexperienced guys can’t properly read the Redflags and may end up in relationship with bipolar girl. This is one reason you should get your dating life together as soon as possible, because the older you get, the easier it’s for you to find the right woman you would like to have a family with, while filtering the Redflags and saving your precious time by not dating them.
- You learn the grass is not greener on the other side. If you find a wife material with minimal experience, there is a high chance you’ll start thinking at some point on the relationship when the honey moon phase ends, that there would be better girls than her. You don’t want to lose this kind of good girlfriend. When you have some good amount of experience with different women, you’ll learn the grass is not greener on the other side. At the worst scenario you’ll dump this good girlfriend in the hope of finding a better, finding out later you made a big mistake.
- When you have the experience, you know how to avoid mistakes of losing her interest. This is especially important in the early phases of the relationship.
The earlier you get this together, the more you have time to invest other things in life.
What to do when you have an attitude of ”I’ll never get a girlfriend”
Mate, you’ll make it. As I said in the shyness chapter, it’s not an easy journey. It’s probably uncomfortable in the beginning.
When you go out there and give it a try, you are already on the side of the winners. Losers never don’t even try, but have all kinds of excuses.
There will be setbacks, but don’t let them you down.
Most people never leave their comfort zone. To be successful in life, you need to separate of them and leave that zone.
I had that attitude of ”I’ll never get a girlfriend” because of being invisible to girls in the highschool. That insecurity hold my back a long time. Until I started to fight against it and decided to make it. I was ready to leave my comfort zone for better life. And I don’t regret a moment doing so.
I have given you the tools you can get started with this journey.
You’ll build your confidence and get rid of the ”I’ll never get a girlfriend” attitude if you just have enough discipline to keep going and not to quit.
There will be the day you realize you are the boss and girls are lusting over you. There will be the day when you realize you are actually enjoying by going flirt with girls. In the beginning it’s always scary and uncomfortable, but in time you’ll break that bubble of uncomfort while talking with women and became alpha.
Imagine what it feels like when you wake up in the morning knowing it’s new adventure today and you may find the coolest girl ever today. No matter if it’s weekend or not, when you get that player demeanor you can meet girls anywhere, anytime.
Few points why mastering your dating life is good thing:
- There are no regrets when you are older. Instead you have an interesting life full of great experiences to remember for.
- You’ll stop putting pussy on pedestal and focus on other things in life. You will no longer be desperate over women as you already have so much experience, meaning you will be the boss of your own and women won’t determine your happiness.
I can’t remember where I heard this, but this really kicked my ass to go out there. Fighting against the time. There are about 500 weekends from your 20’s to 30’s. I wanted to make the best out of them. The limited time we have in this life.
To improve yourself to the point where you can have a rich sex life, you can make the most of these times. Just take the first step and start it today. Today. Never have an excuse to start tomorrow.