In this article, we’ll go 9 years back in time. The time when I started my journey to overcome shyness and getting good at talking to girls. This is a story how overly shy nice guy did beat the shyness and started to get good at approaching girls
At that time there was no Tinder and only option to get laid was to go out and talk with girls.
The first night ever when I approached a girl.
I can still remember it like yesterday:
At that day I decided that I want the change. I decided that I’m ready to face 1000 rejections if even one of those 1000 approaches would get me laid.
That exchange did sound much better than being the kissless and overly shy virgin I used to be. And I’m very happy today that I made that choice. If I would never left the house that day, I could still be the same guy: depressed, socially anxious, kissless virgin.
From Comfortable Home To The Uncomfortable Bar
At that day I did read some opening lines from the Internet because I had zero clue what to say to girls. And at that time I thought that Pickup Line was the most important thing when getting laid.
After I left the house, I can still remember those stomach aches I had due the extreme anxiety: “There is no way back now. I need to force myself to talk with girls”
I did drink a few beers because my anxiety was so high. I didn’t want to get wasted though, because I wanted to make this as sober as possible, so I could actually overcome the shyness and change my personality to better.
When I entered to club alone, I was wondering around a long time. I probably looked very anxious and the one who were not supposed to be there.
I watched how girls were dancing and one thing was sure: I had no balls to go there to approach. Then I looked for girls in the spot where I could easily approach. Tables were no no at the moment.
Gathering the Courage and Pulling the Trigger
I walked around, until I saw those two girls standing in the quiet corner. I built all my courage and went for it. With creepy and anxious voice, I asked some question about them related to the club.
I barely couldn’t even focus on their reply, as I was filled with adrenaline. The conversation did last about 2 minutes and then I had to leave.
It wasn’t rejection though. I escaped from the situationT.
I had to go toilet to take a breath and analyze what had just happened:
First time ever in my life I went to talk to girls.
I had broke a one plateau. The worst one.
If you have never approached a girl, the first approach is the most hardest one. Like the first lay and losing your virginity is.
The New World Awaits
I had to take a rest for 10 minutes in the toilet and wait until the adrenaline comes down.
Now that I had approached and break the wall, I wanted more.
I did approach again. Not in the table or dance floor, but on the bar. It took some time before I had built balls to approach girls who were sitting at table on the bar, and the one’s who were dancing.
I can’t remember the exact count of the approaches I did, but it was something around 5.
Each time it was easier.
The Night that Changed My Life
That night changed my life forever. After coming home, I was so exited and wanted to get back there. I couldn’t wait for the next time I would go.
Before the next time I did go out alone to approach, I did again read some opening lines that I could use.
For a stranger, that night would look like creepy loser trying to get laid. In my eyes, it was an opening of a whole new chapter in my life. It was first step to beat the shyness. My first priority wasn’t even getting laid first, but to overcome the shyness.
The Second Time is Always Easier
When I went on the next weekend again out, I had again that pre-anxiety. But when I entered the club second time, the same feeling, the adrenaline rush did hit me. I knew what was going to happen, and this time it took much less time to wondering around before I approached. The second time I was also completely sober, compared to first night when I had few drinks.
I didn’t get laid neither kiss on the second night. It took me a long time before I could get enough comfortable to go for physical, because I had no idea back then how should I ask for kiss. If I could now go back to that time to tell the past of myself tips, my progress would have been much faster.
Other benefits than getting good at talking with girls
The interesting thing about going alone to bars and approaching women, I also started to get more talkative with people at high school. By forcing myself there to approach and talk to girls, something clicked in my brain. Some kind of seed that started to grow and clear the shyness from me.
Every approach I did, was a one step closer to completely overcome the shyness.
One step closer for next plateau.
The first kiss. It was like the first approach. Or first lay. Or first girlfriend.
At that point I was already comfortable to talk with girls and I was starting to build that playful demeanor naturally.
Reaching my next level. Making out
But I still hadn’t balls to go for kiss. Until I gathered my courage again and wait for good moment to ask: “Would you like to kiss me?”. It was pretty awkward moment at the time, for both of us. But I did went for making out.
The same old adrenaline rush I had on the first approach filled me.
At least at that point I knew that it was only matter of time to get laid and find a girlfriend.
I tried multiple ways to get laid, every time I did something different than last time and didn’t follow the mistakes I had done earlier.
Until the day I finally scored.
It was again step to the next chapter.
After that first lay, I already got laid again the next time I went out. And again. And again.
I felt like coked up constantly and knew that this will only get better the more I go out.
The Transformation From the Shyness
The shyness I used to have, was there no more.
People started to become curious what I had done to change myself completely. They asked how I was suddenly so confident and much, much more social than I used to be.
If you already haven’t reach this point and feel like approaching sucks and is waste of time, I can tell you that you will reach the same and better if you just keep doing this and don’t quit.
The reward is huge. Only thing I regret, is that I didn’t start earlier this.
I will keep writing more this journal. At this point on the story, we are in time where I had cross the limit where approaching was uncomfortable and only as “leveling up”. Now it had became comfortable and I actually started to play and reach the endgame of the player lifestyle.
Even though I still had lot to learn back then, I was enjoying the thrill of the picking up women, compared to starting my journey when approaching was only leveling myself up to the point where I could enjoy flirting and talking with girls.
This journal will be continued...
UPDATE: Player Journal Part 2 is HERE