As the previous post of this journal: ”Player Journal Part 1”, let’s continue my story from overly shy nice guy to beating the shyness and living the Player Lifestyle.
Heart Breaking Winter
This part of the story goes actually back in the time where the previous post ended.
The heart breaking winter. It was the winter I already had built balls to approach girls everywhere and had my first kiss, but I was still virgin at this point.
Getting that first lay was the hardest part after first approach.
I had developed this far:
- Playful and flirty vibe.
- Zero anxiety when talking with girls
- Ability to have courage to approach women everywhere
I was still missing important traits. I was:
- Uncomfortable of going physical
- No idea how should I ask or go for sex
- Desperate about losing my virginity. And desperation is one of those very important aspects in the dating which is prevents your success.
My First Successful Phone Number to Date setup
One night at that winter I went again alone to bar and met these two nice chicks. I flirted with both of them. One of them had a boyfriend, but the other was single. And I tried to be very friendly for this taken girl, so she could recommend her single friend to be with me.
We had a great night at the bar. I didn’t drink alot, few drinks with them (I Entered sober on the nightclub).
After we left, I asked the single girls phone number. Both of these girls suggested that I should come again with them to bar on some day. This was a mistake that lead me to Friend Zone, as I have told this story before in this another article: ”How to get FriendZoned”.
My first date ever = Epic Fail
Somehow I managed to get a date with this girl. And unfortunately to nightclub. It was the worst mistake ever.
#1 rule when planning the First Date. DON’T GO TO NIGHTCLUB!
I have told about more about those dating ideas in the books. And big ”NO” is loudy nightclub. Silent pub is okay and actually recommended (If you want same day lay).
When the First Date fails, the Heart get broken
Because she was the very first girl I ever had date with and we texted a lot before the date, I already was too desperate and even started to build feelings on her.
#Quick Tip To Prevent Broken Heart
If you are inexperienced, building feelings and starting to plan bigger future plans is the worst thing to do when you have just met a girl. I learned it hard way.
Simple and short tip to prevent you from broken heart: Don’t plan any bigger future plans. Only focus in this moment to have fun with her. Building feelings and planning to have her as a girlfriend should be done after months of dating.
As the nightclub date was disaster and she faded me, I was still too naive and wanted her back. I texted her. I was too desperate.
She ghosted me and I felt horrible. The very first girl I had a date and I was very interested in me had just left me.
Getting up From the Sadness and going back there
I was depressed a week, until I decided to try again from the start. (This depression can’t really be compared to any level in the actual Break Up depression that comes after years in relationship).
I went solo to bar and actually the very first approach was successful. We made out, I made her laughing, flirted with her.
Following the same mistake twice
And again the same mistake: Took her phone number and left to home.
This time though we dated a 2 weeks (4 dates in two weeks). I still didn’t get laid with her.
I had learned to not go for Nightclub date, so I did something normal activities.
2 Car dates, Coffee date and Movie Date (The last one I got ghosted afterwards).
She actually felt a lot better than the first girl I dated. She didn’t use alcohol a lot and said that she don’t do one night stands.
I though I had found a Wife Material. And of course I went too desperate because of that.
This desperation lead again to rejection and I was again depressed.
The Spring. Rising from the depression like Phoenix from the Ashes
Now I had two girls I had dated and both of them had ghosted me. (The first one though did play games with me and texted on me from time to time. Of course I was too naive I though there would be hope, but I got burned every time).
Actually now that I remember the night I lost my virginity, it was related to that first girl. I should thank her actually.
The Memorable Night of Losing my Virginity
That Friday she did message me and asked if I would like to come to same NightClub she were with here friends.
When I got there, she only embarrassed me in front of her friends and rejected immediately when I got that club and met her.
I was very sad, angry and frustrated that I went there for only being shamed on.
This did put me on some kind of ”Rage Mode”. Not in the violent way, but the way that I wanted to get revenge and show her that I can get other women too. It also put me a very deep in ”I don’t give a fuck” mode where I decided that now I must get pussy no matter what.
Few approaches and I met two new girls. I used the same tactics as before on the beginning. But now I also wanted to try something new, because of ”IDGF”. I had a great time and night with them.
Trying something new instead of old Routines?
When the club was about to being closed, the other girl left and we were just two of us there with the second girl.
I though a minute, but then I decided to ask directly: ”So are you going home soon? Can I come with you?”. I was sure to get rejected as I though women don’t want random sex this fast.
I was very sure that this kind of stuff only happens in Porn movies, but for my surprise she agreed.
The shocking moment in my life: I will lose my virginity tonight.
We left to her house. First it was awkward as I had no idea how to ask for sex. I asked her to put some music on and coming to lay on the bed with me (We hadn’t even kissed at this point).
Then I went for make out. And things escalated to sex. I fucked her twice: once a night, once in the morning before I left.
The Best Afterglow ever…
That Saturday was one of the greatest days I had experienced so far back then. I was feeling happy and ecstatic the whole day and few days later. Also by fucking the better girl than the first one that rejected me brutally, did ice the cake.
I don’t know why I didn’t took her phone number though. I never met that nice girl again after that. Sad thing, she was very friendly and lovely person, at least the one night I ”knew” her.
The Adventures of Slaying Begins
Because I didn’t took her phone number, I had only one option left:
Go to bar on the next weekend.
I did the same I did earlier, asked for going to her place. And got laid second time. This time I also took the phone number and we dated almost 2 months.
This short romance didn’t ruin for desperation this time, I had already learned my mistakes. It was for other reasons and we both were cool for it. She was also very nice girl and I hope best for her!
The Best Summer Of My Life (That Far)
The past months: depressing end of the winter and great spring that ended up in the ”break up” of that short romance, were full of all kinds of feelings.
First time in my life I had experienced some sort of dating life, romances, ”broken hearts”.
It was just the beginning. The summer was coming…
After that short romance ended, I started again clubbing. The basics of seducing had clicked on me:
- How to Approach and Flirt with girls
- Importance of the Body Language
- How to ask for sex
- How to go for make out
- Having ideas for great dates
But I still had lot to learn before I went into actual Hardcore Mode.
Summer as a Party Boy
That summer was the best summer I had experienced that far.
Full of partying, lots of girls, festivals, dates…
I did went clubbing almost every weekend and got laid most of the times.
On the weekdays, I did do the daytime cold approaching. (There wasn’t still no Tinder at the time. Daytime approaching is still on 2020 really effective, even Tinder exists, like I have write my thoughts about Modern Dating Game)
I had done daytime cold approaching previously . That daytime cold approaching and the drills were the deal breaker for me to get completely over the approach anxiety. They built me the attitude of becoming immune to rejections and having courage to approach women anywhere, anytime.
This was before the winter when I met that first date ever. So I hadn’t got laid neither successful dates before on the daytime approaching (I got phone numbers but they got flaked)
Another new Eye Opener: Bars are not only places to meet girls
This summer things changed. Besided bars and nightclubs, I also got laid first time by approaching on daytime.
It was another memorable moment for me. It wasn’t same day lay, but instant date. After the approach we went for coffee and had good flow for about 2 hours until she had to go. We made out passionately at the end of the date and she did text me the same night something like: ”I want to fuck you so much”.
This was a shock for me. Not in negative way, but no girls had ever texted me any sexual stuff.
We had sex on the next time we met, and again I ”dated” her a while. This time it was though more like fwb thing, neither of us weren’t planning anything serious. I was 20 and she was few years older than me.
So besides having occasional sex with her, I did too clubbing same time and one night stands in between.
One Step closer to Hardcore Player LifeStyle
This was the time I was feeling like living in the God Mode. Constantly fucking new girls, having fuck buddies, every day I woke up was a new opportunity. This wasn’t even the peak of my Player Lifestyle.
You Can and Will Make it too
2 years back of that time, and I could never believe I would live like that. My only dream was to overcome the shyness and find an average girlfriend. That time I was depressed every morning I woke up. I had no hope in life, I though I could never:
- Get lose my virginity
- Never get Girlfriend
- I will always suffer social anxiety
- There is no point in life
I had heard some of those transformation stories of people telling they couldn’t believe how they are now confident but used to be really shy. They did give me some sort of faith, but not enough. I had very low self esteem back then and though that I can’t achieve that.
Rolling enough in that spiral of depression and no hope I decided to make the change like I said on the Part 1.
So if you are like I used to be:
- Over nice guy
- Really insecure
- Really Depressed about future. Feeling there is no any reason to live this miserable lifestyle.
Today. Not Tomorrow
Go out and start your transformation! If you beat the shyness, and depending either you would like test how it feels to live the Player Lifestyle or you are more into Relationships, the journey will be the best thing you will ever do to yourself!
I had listed some of the benefits how great life is after beating the shyness here, so read that to get more motivation.
If I, the most quiet and shy quy in the school at the time, could make it, there is no any reasons why you couldn’t.
You just need to believe in yourself and put effort on it, as it will be the hardest, but at the same time the best and most rewarding thing you will ever do to yourself.
There can be a better life and you can acquire it!
Back to my journal, this will be continued on the next part…
There will be a lot things to tell you about my story and hopefully it helps and motivates you to achieve the same if not better.
Feel free to leave comment if my story motivates you, I would appreciate a lot of that and it will keeps me motivated to write more detailed stories (Writing this post took 3 hours)
Until next time, will be continued…